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I Wish You’d Met Me When My Stomach Was Flat says it all.

Lyrics

I Wish You’d Met Me When My Stomach Was Flat says it all. Despite the “laugh lines around my eyes” and “my expanding thighs”, we just might be “hitting our prime.”

LYRICS
I wish you’d met me when my stomach was flat
My hair was all brown, and my eyes were intact
I wish you knew me when I ran like the wind
Hard to imagine, I know, with the shape I am in

I wish you knew me with fewer veins, fewer scars
My skin was more taut—face it, I was more hot
I wish you’d met me when my bod was first-rate
Now I try really hard not to clean my plate

But I wouldn’t be so wise
Without laugh lines around my eyes
I know what I know, and I treasure you so
Me and my expanding thighs

I wish you knew me when I took fewer pills
No overheating for me; now I never get chilled
I wish my luggage came with less baggage
What I offer you now is plenty of saggage

But I wouldn’t be so wise
Without laugh lines around my eyes
I know what I know, and I treasure you so
Me and my expanding thighs

Guess I’ve learned to take less crap
I’ve come to enjoy my afternoon nap
I wish you knew me when I could find my glasses
Let’s keep hoping this kidney stone passes…not to mention all the extra masses and all the gases…

But I wouldn’t be so wise
Without laugh lines around my eyes
I know what I know, and I treasure you so
Me and my expanding thighs
I know what I know, and I treasure you so
Me and my expanding thighs

I wish you’d met me when the world was brand new
We would have conquered it all; now we’re in sensible shoes
Guess it’s all heading south
But I’m your wrinkle in time
And maybe, just maybe
Maybe, baby, we’re hitting our prime